The Irrepressible Writer

Helping you build and maintain resilience for your writing...and your life.

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Welcome to The Irrepressible Writer!

By Carol Grannick on November 5, 2009

You’re a writer – committed, consistent, hard-working. But when you hit a bump – a rejection comes; writer’s block stares you down; your critique group offers too many suggestions and you feel overwhelmed; you get a bad review; miss an opportunity or face seemingly endless periods of waiting, waiting and more waiting – you begin to hear whispers (or shouts) of negative self-talk. Your mood plummets. Your work pays the price.

Continue reading “Welcome to The Irrepressible Writer!”

Posted in Learned Resilience: How To Do It | Tagged negative self-talk, resilience | 2 Responses

Michelangelo’s Advice

By Carol Grannick on August 31, 2010

The word “optimism” appears liberally in the tour literature when describing the Renaissance in Florence, Italy.

So the connection between optimism and creativity is not information only provided by modern neuropsychology research. Whatever inborn genius existed, the belief in human capacity created an environment in which genius could practice and flourish.

The connection between this and the importance of becoming or staying a resilient writer is clear: we forget that the practice is the creativity.

You’ve heard and read this before, of course.

But it might be important to surround yourself with some reminders, so that when pressure for the finished product intrudes, you can return to the beauty of the process and regain resilience.

I was as moved by Michelangelo’s series of ‘Prisoners’ sculptures (so named by others) as I was by his David. They reminded me of the depth, intensity and beauty of process. Michelangelo’s famous comments that his work entailed “finding” the God-created sculpture inside the rock are a poignant reminder of the searching nature of our journeys.

I’ll be putting my postcards up on the wall of my writing desk.  Do you have any visual reminders of the beauty of process that you might use?

Posted in Learned Resilience: How To Do It, Lessons From Life | Tagged Creativity, Michelangelo, optimism | Leave a response

Positive Thinking In More Ways Than One

By Carol Grannick on August 24, 2010

My memory improved during my month-long vacation. It was too noticeable to ignore. Although my pre-vacation memory hadn’t been bad, I had noticed a change in how much I recall after I’d read something.

The Pantheon, Rome

Yet on my journey to Italy, I found myself reading, then conveying information to my husband at later times with complete recall.  I quickly picked up the language, a skill I hadn’t exposed myself to since college.

I was happily shocked.

Mercato, Florence Italy

But why?  I decided it wasn’t simply because I was on vacation, without my to-do list and everyday concerns.

I believe my brain reacted to rekindling old passions (art history and history in general), and the particular positive emotions that re-connected created – awe, interest, joy, inspiration. I think my brain reacted by expanding itself, rediscovering some cognitive capacity, as Barbara Fredrickson might call it in her “broaden and build” positivity research results.

What does this experience have to with becoming and staying a resilient writer?

Pompeii

The experience reminded me of how many comments on The Irrepressible Writer have spoken about the importance of taking a break from writing when the work, or the emotions, aren’t going well.

But as I review those, and private, comments to me, they split between activities that truly stimulate the brain to think differently or more, and experiences that relax, comfort, or distract us.

Both may be necessary. But I’ll suggest that if you’re missing the stimulating, joyful, awe-inspiring, interest-bearing experience, you may be missing the opportunity to “broaden” your brain and build your resilience through the experiences of positivity.

What I learned for myself is that history, art history, and language learning are good for my brain.

And what’s good for my brain is good for my writing, and my writing resilience.

Fireworks for St. Anne's/Vesuvius

What about you?

Posted in Lessons From Life | Tagged Positive Thinking | 4 Responses

Journey to Positivity

By Carol Grannick on July 20, 2010

Journey: a noun and a verb. A process and an activity.

There are plenty of events in the world that cause heartfelt, even essential, sadnesses. Events of the cycle of life. Events of the world. We would not be fully  human if we thought or acted as if these negative emotions were bad or inappropriate.

But the gratuitous and time-wasting negativity that saps energy and creativity from many writers can be changed, harnessed into a more optimistic and positive attitude that opens the brain, and broadens and builds problem-solving capacities, creativity, even vocabulary.

Yesterday a new study revealed that the presence of a wide variety of positive emotions seems to be heart-health protective.

The research confirmed that it’s not enough to not feel depressed. Apparently we must experience positive emotions in order to get the benefits.  And because they are fleeting, if you want to keep positive emotions in your life, you must search them out or create them.

One of my favorite ways of doing that is by disputing negative self-talk. You’ll see that in my list below, but do recall that learning how to dispute may not come easily. Each step, in fact, may take you time and a fair amount of energy.

So take the time you need. And ask for help if you feel stuck.

I leave you for a month’s blog vacation (although I’ll be happy to answer questions and comments) with an index of posts to serve as reminders and review. I wish you a rest-of-summer time that helps you on your journey towards positivity. And if you are having a hard time right now, that doesn’t exclude you – because being gentle with  yourself during hard times is always the very first step on that journey.

These posts will take you back over the essential steps of creating and maintaining a more positive attitude in the face of adversities of your writer’s life:

1. Where to Start

2. Your Very First Step – No, Even Before That One

3. Learn Your Self-Talk Style

4. How to Dispute Negative Self-Talk

5. Tips for Catching  Your Negativity Spiral

Here’s to journeying!

Posted in Learned Resilience: How To Do It | Tagged Disputing Negative Thoughts, learned optimism, resilience | 1 Response

When Should I Quit?

By Carol Grannick on July 13, 2010

I’ve had more than one email that conveys to me the pain inherent in the writing life. And the question the emails ask is always the same: when should I quit?

If you’re a writer who’s faced self-doubt, failure, rejection, and despair you may know how difficult it becomes to maintain hope. Hope that someday someone will pay you for your writing and others will read your words and be moved and changed.

And you may know from  your own experience, and this blog, the work it takes for many writers to create and keep resilience. That means not developing a “tough” skin (if you’re a reader of mine, you know I’m not big on “tough skin”) but an elastic one. An elastic mind, heart and soul that can (learn to) bounce back in the face of adversity.

It’s foolish to pretend that it doesn’t matter if we get published or not. But when it’s the only focus – as if it will end the negativity – it can become a driving force for even more negativity. And if it’s not happening soon enough for you, there’s no where to turn that negativity except on yourself.

You can’t learn to be more resilient because the only thing that matters is “the facts” – i.e., you’re not getting published and that’s “bad”. You can’t live in the moment and get satisfaction and meaning from your writer’s journey because publication is essential, psychologically or financially, or both.

One thing I’ve learned in my own writer’s journey is the absence of control I have over most factors necessary to publication. I’ve chosen to focus on the one thing I can absolutely control – the quality of my work.

And I’ve learned other facts. Most writers have income sources other than their writing, from a spouse and/or another profession or job. If you need an income from your writing, it’s incumbent upon you to explore freelance or contract possibilities.

I say this in the most caring way I’m able: tell yourself the truth about whether you might be feeling a little sorry for yourself…as if you deserve more than what you’re getting. There’s no shame in it; it’s normal. It’s just not helpful. And really? It’s not true. Nobody “deserves” or “doesn’t deserve.”

When we feel sorry for ourselves, we talk to ourselves in negative ways – and that just solidifies the closure on creativity, energy and action.

I’ll say it again: your brain reacts to how you talk to yourself.

So…If you think you should quit writing because you’re not getting published, you need to disconnect your writing from publication.

Do it by challenging yourself with this provocative question: If I knew for sure that I would never be published in any way, shape or form, would I stop writing?

If the answer is “no”, think or write about the following without ever referring to being published:

  • Why must I write? What is inside me that absolutely must come out via the written word?
  • How do I feel when and after writing?
  • How do I feel when I don’t write for awhile? Why do I return to it?

These aren’t easy questions. They’re private, often intense. If you can’t answer them yourself, and you’re struggling with these issues, please reach out for help.

Because I think the only reason to quit is if you don’t have to write. If you need income, join the mobs of writers who work to bring in money and keep health insurance, and write in the wee hours of the morning, or late at night. The ability to tell yourself the truth about what you need to do should be a positive thing, not a self-punishment.

Nothing I’ve learned over all the years I’ve been alive, no way I’ve come to change or develop, has replaced the need to put what’s deep inside me into written words.

And it’s that knowledge – and trust of myself and my need to make sense of my inner world – that keeps me on this difficult and wonderful journey.

How about you?

Posted in Learned Resilience: How To Do It, Rethinking Writing Obstacles | Tagged negative thinking, quitting writing | 8 Responses

Interview: Jenny Meyerhoff – A Positive Journey

By Carol Grannick on July 6, 2010

I’m so excited to share an interview with author Jenny Meyerhoff about creating and maintaining resilience on the writer’s journey.  If you struggle with holding on to your resilience, or simply need an occasional ‘lift’, notice how deliberate Jenny’s choices are about how she stays creative and productive. Note, as well, how important is her comfort with the process of moving through emotions and experiences.

Jenny is the author of the young adult novel QUEEN OF SECRETS which the Horn Book called “a powerful story.” She is also the author of the humorous chapter book THIRD GRADE BABY. Jenny lives in Riverwoods, Illinois with her husband and three children.

THE IRREPRESSIBLE WRITER: What are the specific difficulties you have struggled (continue to struggle) with as part of your writing journey?

Well, first there is simply getting myself to start writing. This is often a daily challenge and I think my biggest challenge. It’s so easy to procrastinate to the point where there isn’t enough time left in the day to get any actual writing done. After that, the thing I have the most trouble with is when a book is released and all the turbulent emotions that go along with that. I find the process (which I’ve only gone through twice) makes me feel extremely raw and vulnerable.

As for the stuff in between, the point I get to with each manuscript where I believe it cannot be fixed, or that I’m not good enough to fix it…well for today at least I feel as though I’m at a point in my writing journey where I can understand and recognize that as a stage in the process even while I’m in it. (Although I’m not in it right now, so that answer might be different if you ask me a few months from now.)

TIW: How have you handled these difficulties? What helps? What doesn’t help?

The getting started with writing is one that I am always looking for new ways to handle. At the moment, working with a timer has been extremely helpful. I set the timer to the amount of time, push go and write without break until it goes off. I used to do an hour but lately have tried the Pomodoro Technique which advocates repeat sessions of 25 minutes with varying breaks between and I think that works really well for me. But ultimately I think it’s about fostering the habit of writing for me. When I get into a groove writing everyday it’s much easier to stay in the groove. When life gets in the way for more than a few days it’s very hard to get back into my writing zone.

Alas, I haven’t solved this problem for myself yet. The best I can do is not beat myself up about it and do the best I can.

Now for the challenges of a book release: I don’t think I’m quite as far along in dealing with this one. The whole process really throws me for a loop, the extremes of ego inflation and deflation are exhausting and completely useless, actually. Neither can help me grow as a writer. I try as best I can to keep distance between my self and my work but other than repeating that as a mantra and turning off Google alerts, I’m not sure I’ve figured out to much about how to deal with the sense of exposure it provokes in me. Hopefully I’ll get a lot more chances to grow and learn about it in the future.

TIW: What is the single most important part of your life (this could be a phrase, a person, a group) that helps you reinforce your resilience as a writer?

I don’t know if I can point to one single thing. What helps me get through is always different depending on the day, the thought, the issue. But one thing I’ve learned in recent years that I do think has been extremely valuable has to do with the nature of thoughts and feelings.

First, thoughts are just thoughts, not truths and that they can be examined and disputed. This might sounds obvious, but it wasn’t until recently that I learned if I had the thought “this writing is terrible” that I didn’t just have to believe it. I could respond to my own thought. “This is a first draft, I’m just exploring the story right now not writing perfect sentences.”

Second, feelings are transient. When I feel low about a review I know that I’m only going to feel that way for an hour or so and then I will feel better. This again might seem obvious, but I truly used to think that if I felt bad about something, I would feel that way forever. Knowing that I won’t makes it much easier to get through it.

TIW: How do you see (or not see) your own beliefs about and/or experience with resilience figuring into your characters or stories? Do you want to highlight aspects of resilience deliberately? or do you find that resilience is simply part of how our characters have to evolve in order to create strong stories?

I don’t know that I’ve ever thought about it in terms of my characters. After the fact I can certainly look at my stories and see that some characters have more resilience than others, or how lack of resilience caused problems in characters lives, but I think this is something that just comes about naturally. Stories are about big moments in character’s lives, changes and conflicts, so how resilient a character is has to come in to play, but I’d prefer to let this evolve organically rather than try to demonstrate or teach.

TIW: Thanks for sharing so much with us, Jenny. You validate so many important points – that feelings are transient; that not beating yourself up is always Step One; that negative self-talk is often not true, and can and should be challenged; and that maintaining resilience is a journey. Best of luck with QUEEN OF SECRETS and your future work!

Posted in Interviews: Resilience At Work, Rethinking Writing Obstacles | Tagged Jenny Meyerhoff, Queen of Secrets, writers' resilience | 3 Responses

Kerry Madden: Positively Inspirational

By Carol Grannick on June 29, 2010

If you’re going through a difficult time with your writing or your life, you may find that positive emotions of joy, interest, and inspiration are available in the restorative experience of re-reading a favorite book. For me, most of those books are right in my office library, and they can be anything from the 17th century and on. Many, though, are children’s middle grade novels.

A few weeks ago, I returned to Kerry Madden’s Maggie Valley Books, GENTLE’S HOLLER;   LOUISIANA’S SONG; and JESSIE’S MOUNTAIN.

After reading the first when it came out several years ago, I bought it and then next two volumes. I knew I’d want to read them all again and again.

Have you read Kerry’s Maggie Valley books?

Livy Two Weems and her big, loving (and scrappy) family have plenty of serious trouble, but always in the context of the solidity of a connected, strong family unit. If you’ve somehow missed these books, you’ve missed three beautifully-written tapestries of Appalachian life with contemporary and universal appeal, a main character of great depth and resilience in Livy Two, and a large supporting cast you come to know and love.

It’s not only Kerry’s  heart-wrenching, human, funny, loving stories that offer comfort and an influx of positive emotions. The writing is inspired and inspiring.

The narrator, Livy Two Weems, is a young songwriter, and her voice sings. The narrative and dialogue is musical and full of color, the descriptions so complete, internal life so open, actions so clear, that I see the story unfold as a film in my mind’s eye every time I read.

So by re-reading, I get not only the pleasure and comfort I may need at the time, but I gather inspiration for my writing life.

Kerry’s strong plot, lyrical language, intense and detailed descriptions and captivating voice motivate me to bring that same beauty to my own work, in my own way.  Her ability to create a dozen (or more!) substantial, individualized characters amazes me!

Because I’m such a fan, I also enjoy connecting with the author at her website (oh, how I love that song!) and her blog, where she writes about the writing life, and her stories of the writing journey that validate and encourage my own.

And speaking of favorite novels, Kerry’s biography of my very  favorite novelist came out last year, too! It’s the only Harper Lee biography written for children and young adults, and it’s wonderful.

Reaching out for help is one key factor in maintaining resilience. Do you have a book that comforts and inspires you during difficult times?

I’d love to hear about it here at The Irrepressible Writer…

Posted in Learned Resilience: How To Do It, Lessons From Life | Tagged Kerry Madden, writing life | 4 Responses

Need a Shot of Positivity? Find a Conference!

By Carol Grannick on June 22, 2010

The Irrepressible Writer is a hunter-gatherer. Because positive emotions come and go, and because they are “lighter” than negative emotions, I’m always searching.

A good writing conference is invaluable for positivity-creating experiences, and I had the good fortune to attend the magnificent Illinois-SCBWI Words In The Woods 2010 retreat/conference this past weekend.

You can read about the benefits of attending conferences in many places, but my interest here is how you can use a conference to stoke up your positivity ratio
and build your upward spiral (not to mention nip your downward spiral in the bud!).

Of course, to benefit from the impact of positivity on the brain (broadening and building your intellectual and emotional capacities – creativity, problem-solving, resilience and more) you’ll want to attend in a fairly positive state of mind.  So if you’re frightened, worried or generally in a “down” time, pre-conference is the time to really work hard at disputing your negative thoughts so that you begin the conference in an open, eager frame of mind.

Words in the Woods offered a perfect format of large-group presentations, small-group critique sessions, time to write, critique group meetings with our guest author, editor and agent, and informal one-on-one conversations, thanks to the generosity of the guests and respect of the participants. Why does the conference format matter? Because it stimulates the brain in different ways, creating opportunities for different types of experiences.

And each of those circulate positive experience and emotion – and therefore keep the brain flowing with creative juices. These are the words that come to mind when I recall the weekend:  listening and learning, laughing, writing-talk, problem-solving, questions, questions answered, interest, compassion, commitment, work, love, life.

Not a negative word in the bunch. The result? An inward flow of positivity that will result in a wonderful writing week for me, I’m sure.

But positivity comes and goes, so I’ll try to hold on to it with a blog entry, pictures on my desktop (this one’s the hall-wall’s spread of affirming writing beliefs and practices – even looking at the picture creates a positive rush), and staying connected to the old and new friends who represent the positive aspects of our difficult and rewarding writing life.

Because as Kathi Appelt said, “When you’re doing your life’s work, your life works.”

Wouldn’t you agree?

Posted in Lessons From Life | Tagged Words In The Woods, Writers Conference | 3 Responses

When Positivity Is Hard To Find

By Carol Grannick on June 15, 2010

For most of us, positivity does not come naturally, and even if it does, it takes hard work to hold on to it.

Why? Because for most of us, creating and maintaining positive thoughts and emotions requires thinking. And when our brains are cluttered with worries, self-doubt, internal and external expectations, and more, it’s hard to think clearly. Challenging negative thinking may take too much time or energy. But then you feel stuck in negativity.

What to do? Here’s one option…

In POSITIVITY, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson writes about National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones’ video that explores the impact of asking certain questions to create positive emotions. You don’t have to feel like asking yourself the questions in order to benefit. Persist in asking them in spite of how you feel: What’s going right for me right now? What’s working for me right now?

Say it out loud.

Write it on a post-it and put it where you’ll notice.

Ask yourself repeatedly until you get an answer.

And yes, anything that’s going right is fine, even the tiniest thing. See if the persistent question nudges you into even a bit of positive emotion.

There may be times when even asking yourself these questions feels too hard…but sometimes having one single tool can help you move even a tiny bit forward.

Posted in Learned Resilience: How To Do It | Tagged Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, positivity | Leave a response

Sweet Moments in Hard Times

By Carol Grannick on June 8, 2010

I’m not one to recommend or partake in food as a way to increase positive emotion, unless I happen to be hungry and the food is nourishing and delicious.

But yesterday a soft-serve ice cream cone brought me unexpected and to-be-savored moments during a difficult time. My husband, a chocolate milkshake lover, said he was heading out to Dairy Queen. It was a beautiful day in Chicago, I’d hit a lull in the work I was doing, and I know my husband enjoys my company.

Once at Dairy Queen, I decided to have a small vanilla cone. The minute I took a lick, I knew it was the flavor of Kiddieland.

Kiddieland, a recently-closed children’s amusement park, was an integral part of my growing up in Oak Park, Illinois.

There, I had my first (and much beloved) tastes of the Tilt-A-Whirl, driving a mini-tractor, the thrilling carousel, the train ride around the park, and my first crush, the Little Dipper roller coaster. And the vanilla soft-serve ice cream.

Memories – mostly images, smells and tastes – poured into my mind. I shared them with my husband. We leaned against the car in the lovely spring sunlight and chatted as if we had no cares, and the world was sweet and fine.

Even in the most difficult of times, being open to the sweetness of life can create positive emotions.

How does that connect to being a resilient writer? This morning I’ll bring the positivity of the senses, memories and connectedness of yesterday into my revisions, and my character’s journey.

Food, or other pleasures of the five senses, can be powerful positive-memory triggers that help our lives, and our writing. Have you had such experiences, ones that beg for being attended to and inject positivity into a difficult day?

Posted in Lessons From Life | Tagged positivity | 3 Responses

Deeply Distracted

By Carol Grannick on June 1, 2010

As usual, Bob Herbert’s column in the Tuesday, June 1 New York Times is an expression of my thoughts and emotions. I find myself deeply distracted from my work by the state of the world.

And yet I will write today – enter revisions into my  netbook (a recent purchase that caused an influx of positive emotion) in the shade at the Chicago Botanic Gardens (an environment that deeply nurtures my soul).

But I will not forget the helplessness that I feel in relation to the state of the world. It is the one area of life in which optimism may not be realistic, certainly not heartfelt. But Herbert’s pinpointing of helplessness as linked to despair is pinpoint-accurate.

And long ago Martin Seligman pinpointed learned helplessness as one of the crucial problems in what he perceived to be an epidemic of childhood depression.

That’s about all I have to say today. If you are reading this, you have the intellect, and emotional perceptiveness, to read between the lines and link the dots.

Sometimes we just have to do the best we can.

Posted in Lessons From Life | Tagged Bob Herbert, learned helplessness, New York Times | Leave a response

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