Welcome to The Irrepressible Writer!

By Carol Grannick on November 5, 2009

You’re a writer – committed, consistent, hard-working. But when you hit a bump – a rejection comes; writer’s block stares you down; your critique group offers too many suggestions and you feel overwhelmed; you get a bad review; miss an opportunity or face seemingly endless periods of waiting, waiting and more waiting – you begin to hear whispers (or shouts) of negative self-talk. Your mood plummets. Your work pays the price.

Continue reading “Welcome to The Irrepressible Writer!”

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Jealous Much? SECOND in a series to help you change jealousy into inspiration

By Carol Grannick on February 8, 2010

The first post in my series on how to handle jealousy with positivity encourages you to accept the feeling as natural and normal. For some of you,  that will help jealousy pass.

For others of you, the feeling will stay uncomfortable and inconvenient, putting a roadblock in the way of your own writing.

You may have noticed that optimistic-leaning writers respond to others’ successes differently. They may say things like, “Oh, I’m so jealous!” but ultimately they see others’ successes as encouraging, inspiring and exciting.

You can, too.

If you’ve been following The Irrepressible Writer, you may be familiar with the technique of using the skill of disputation to change your thinking, and subsequently your feelings.

But you might want to take this second step before you do.

Explore and then rely on your core values, beliefs and strengths. Connecting to them will enable you to act and speak in the way you’d want others to act and speak towards you if you were the one who got a book contract, won a contest, got some kind of recognition as a writer.

Whatever your ethical or spiritual framework, use it to help yourself in this situation.

Maybe you still feel jealous? So what? You can still act in a generous, caring and celebratory way.

You simply need to learn how to harness your strengths, values, beliefs and brain-power to create a more optimistic framework for yourself. Then, when you’re feeling vulnerable, you’ll have very specific tools that provide rational – and very real – comfort and an opportunity to change how you feel.

Does this feel fake or fraudulent?

I encourage you not to think so. Remember that you’re trying to access your own inborn or learned values. If you’re curious about your strengths and values, take the online test at Martin Seligman’s site.

Whatever your ethical or spiritual framework, doing the right thing towards others can have a powerful impact on you, as well. Chances are you feel better than you would if you withhold congratulatory responses because you’re feeling too jealous.

And when you feel a bit better, you’ll really be ready to dispute your language of jealousy, and create heartfelt statements that will turn jealousy into inspiration.

What are your core values, beliefs and strengths that can help you come up with some reliable statements or actions when you’re feeling jealous?

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Jealous Much? FIRST in a series to help you change jealousy into inspiration

By Carol Grannick on February 2, 2010

Back in third grade, as I practiced writing cursive letters for the first time, I noticed Missy Halloran’s elegant, swirly and so, so pretty writing – much more attractive than my clunky, chunky attempts.

Before I gave it any thought, I began copying her letters. Her handwriting would be my handwriting. I couldn’t have Missy’s height and weight, her gorgeous hair and smooth, light skin, her uncorrected eyesight, cute giggle, social skills or clothes. But I could have her handwriting.

The fact that I got good grades and wrote poetry was not enough.

We know that jealousy causes intellectual, physical and emotional cramping.

And unless we isolate ourselves as writers, we are surrounded with the potential for jealousy: a community of fellow writers striving for and achieving excellence; critique partners who challenge instead of pacify; a world in which ‘success’ may feel measured by reviews, advances, copies sold.

Jealousy propels us into negativity and drains energy, productivity and creativity. Jealousy focuses our energy on who we aren’t or can’t be, and inhibits us from being and becoming the writers we are and can be.

You know that. And you hear and read that you must change jealousy into a source of inspiration. But how?

Here’s how to get from jealousy to inspiration, step-by-step:

STEP ONE: Normalize the feelings of jealousy so that when they come, you’re not surprised. Surprise is often accompanied by anger at the feelings, and that zooms you off into another knotty situation.

How to normalize? As soon as the feeling surface, notice it. When you do this, “I’m so jealous” becomes “I notice I’m jealous” or “This is interesting, I’m feeling jealous.”

This act creates time/space distance from the jealousy. You’re then able to observe it and learn from it, rather than become embroiled in it.

Even this first step will help you feel less controlled and diminished by this natural feeling.

Eager to zip right from jealousy to admiration? Understandable. But if jealousy’s hard for you, try setting up a habit of positivity by taking one step at a time.

It sounds simplistic, but the practice of “noticing” offers you huge opportunities.

As I’ve described here, I signal noticing with the phrase, “This is interesting.” I borrowed it from one of my mentors, and you should feel free to borrow it from me, or invent your own “signal” phrase.

Go ahead and try:

_____________________________________________________________

(your own “I’m jealous” statement)

_____________________________________________________________

(your “noticing” phrase)

Practice. Practice repeatedly. That’s how you’ll make noticing a habit. Then you’ll be ready to move on to STEP TWO, which I’ll detail in my next post.

And speaking of noticing, are there any familiar patterns to your jealousy? Is it a particular thing that incites it? Or a particular mood of your own that leaves you vulnerable? I’d love to hear…

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Garbage? Not So Much

By Carol Grannick on January 29, 2010

I noticed yesterday morning, recycling and garbage day in my neighborhood, that we had about one-third of our usual toss.

And because the idea of a post on The Irrepressible Writer came to mind, I trusted that what I’d noticed about our effort to decrease our garbage must have something to do with positivity and the writer’s life.

But what?

I try to allow meanings or connections to slide right into my brain the way I slide a pan of veggies with olive oil and spices into the oven to roast (no metaphor intended; just cooking Friday night dinner as I write). This morning was one of those times.

It occurred to me that the reason my husband and I are making ecological progress is because of the same “Three Things” necessary to create and maintain resilience for writing and for life. Believe. Learn. Practice.

Increasingly, those “things” ring true in many areas of my life, not necessarily all three at once.  Small and large activities involve an intensity of belief in the purpose and value of what I’m doing, sometimes a continued and important learning curve, and always practice.

I consider it a blessing that I have the luxury of being able to try to live this way.

It doesn’t matter whether those activities are washing dishes in the sharp winter sunlight and deliberately being mindful, present, in those moments, looking out my back window at the snow and prairie grass; being the kind of friend, wife, mother or volunteer I want to be; or letting myself sink into the emotions and life of my main character in my middle grade work-in-progress.

Believe. Learn. Practice.

Garbage…writing…life.

Yep. Definitely connected for me…in the most positive way.

You?

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When You’re Being Negative – What If You’re Wrong?

By Carol Grannick on January 26, 2010

In my early adulthood, I never questioned the truth of my negative feelings. In fact, they often felt like the “real me.”  I made many informal attempts at my own brand of learned optimism, and I was often happy and delighted with life. But when adversity hit, the positive emotional states seemed rather fragile. They were, I believed, “fake”.

As I expanded my knowledge and experience in the field of clinical social work, I learned and experienced the powerful value of challenging solidly-embedded negative thoughts.

Many theories and techniques exist to challenge and replace negative thinking with heartfelt positivity. The Irrepressible Writer will continue to explore and describe those ways, and I hope you’ll continue to share the experiment, and share the impact on your writing lives.

I’ve written here that the ability to journey towards heartfelt positivity rests on the belief that the negative thinking is incorrect or irrational (i.e., not based on factual evidence). We know that it is limiting to us as writers…and in our non-writing lives.

My first introduction to the power of disbelief in limited thinking (not only negative thinking, by the way) was Edward de Bono. De Bono created the concept and tools of Lateral Thinking. He was among the first who believed that creativity could be taught, stimulated by a variety of techniques that gained broad acceptance. If you’re familiar with the concept of “six thinking hats”, that’s de Bono.

Reading about and implementing some of de Bono’s techniques moved me beyond what I felt might be the boundaries of my psychodynamic/psychoanalytic training into the world of cognition, and of creativity “not as a magical gift but as a learnable skill” (de Bono).  It helped me, and it helped clients, to move beyond places where we might feel emotionally or intellectually stuck.

One simple tool, which de Bono calls “provocation”, opened a huge door. You might want to play with it:

Here’s an example of a provocation:

1. STATE A NEGATIVE THOUGHT, for example: “I’m not able to compete in the current writing climate. I’ll never get past the bigger and bigger gates that are getting set up everyday.”

2. GIVE YOURSELF A PROVOCATION: de Bono used the word “po” to signal: “This statement is not true.” (Say it loudly: “Po!”)

3. IF “PO” IS TRUE (so therefore the original statement in #1 is NOT TRUE) THEN WHAT ELSE MIGHT BE TRUE?:

  • I might have greater writing ability or capacity than I think;
  • I might at least have the ability to work harder than I think;
  • I might be more open to looking for and creating opportunities to meet editors and agents at conferences;
  • I might re-allocate some priorities if I believed that going to conferences might help my access;
  • I might feel more inspired to polish a piece to submit to a conference if I wanted a critique;
  • etcetera

“What if…?” It’s a phrase familiar to writers as we plot. It opens doors for our characters and our stories.

But what if you use “what if” on yourself, as well?

What if when you have negative thoughts you aren’t just depressed or depleted…What if you’re wrong?

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Picture Your Positivity

By Carol Grannick on January 19, 2010

The ability to “dispute” your negative thoughts is a cornerstone of changing pessimistic thinking to optimistic. For me, and for many clients, learning to dispute is an invaluable skill.

But it is not the only technique for creating positive emotions. For those of us who “flow” more naturally toward negativity, a variety of tools are helpful as we create and maintain the learned positivity that opens our writer’s minds to greater energy, creativity, problem-solving and even facility with words.

No one can tell you what will absolutely work for you. Your openness to trying a variety of tools will let you know which ones are a good match for your personality, values, and where you’re at right now in your life.

Since feelings are transient, you need to continue to work at creating that 3:1 positive to negative “positivity ratio” that’s the current research standard. But new body and brain cells grow as you create an “upward spiral” of positivity and generally make the process easier. Committed practice leaves you feeling more adept at “doing” optimism.

Driving to a meeting the other day, I noticed a slight heaviness gathering in my chest. I was anticipating the meeting with a little bit of negative emotion. Not a lot. Just a little. But enough to distract me.

Since I was driving, figuring out what I might be anticipating and disputing my thoughts wasn’t a great option. But I remembered that one of Barbara Fredrickson’s research studies described in POSITIVITY included participants’ response to photographs, and I had my camera in the car.

I stopped at The Chicago Botanic Gardens on my way to the meeting. I’m a member, and didn’t have to pay for parking, which made my plan easier. I took some photos of a favorite scene of prairie grass. The minute I did I felt better.

Seeing and holding on to the scene with a photograph took the edge off my impending negativity, and left me feeling stronger and in a better mood for my meeting. More “open”. Once that happened, I could use skills that reinforced a positive experience, skills that sometimes elude me if I’m feeling down.

If you want to try this experiment, look at the two pictures below  one at a time. Notice the feeling that is created inside you when you look at each picture.


Do you notice any change in your emotions as you move from one picture to the next?

How will this help your writing? In many posted comments at The Irrepressible Writer, writers share their own specific techniques with limiting negativity and writer’s block. Plenty of those techniques have nothing to do with writing, but everything to do with creating the positive emotions that impact writing energy, creativity and problem-solving.

It’s not that negative emotions are evil. It’s that they can limit our emotional and intellectual energy and abilities.

A photograph that elicits positive emotion from you could be the thing that distracts you from a negative place with your writing and bumps you back into productivity.

Do you have favorite photographs that could be a powerful writing tool for you?



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Big Dreams, Small Steps: Keeping Positivity Alive in 2010

By Carol Grannick on January 14, 2010

Last night at the Illinois-SCBWI North Suburban Network’s monthly meeting, we talked about writing goals and resolutions for the New Year.

Most writers abhorred the notion of  “resolutions” since, like most restrictive expectations, they seem ridiculously connected to the expectation of failure.

But “goals” and “plans” feel different.

Some of us had writing goals that were more expansive; some of us focus on smaller, “do-able” pieces.

One fellow writer, John Levine, spoke beautifully about combining bigger dreams and small, achievable steps. John put into words what I’d been trying to articulate into a post since the beginning of 2010:

What works for me is to have both a ‘big dream’ and a series of small, manageable steps to focus on.

The big dream - for example, seeing my book in print and readers enjoying it – inspires my work.  However, in the beginning as well as at other times along the journey, the dream can seem impossible to accomplish.  I think, ‘I’ll never be able to do all this.’

So I dispel the doubt and take the pressure off by focusing on the smaller, doable tasks just ahead of me.  The satisfaction of accomplishing each of those steps builds and sustains my momentum.

There are times, however, when I get stuck or bogged down in the details of working on the small steps or frustrated with what seems to an endless road ahead.

When my motivation flags, I lift my sights back to the big dream.  The feeling of excitement that comes from visualizing myself achieving it becomes a source of renewed energy for my work.

So back and forth I go, from big dream to small steps and back again, on the journey to getting published.

Thank you for letting me share this, John. I love it.  It’s a “keeper” quote. And I love the positive emotion created by other writers sharing their hopes, dreams, frustrations…and plans to stay resilient on the journey of our lives!

Do you have thoughts you’d be willing to share at The Irrepressible Writer? How do goals and plans work best for you? Or do they not?

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The Basics of Learned Positivity for Writers

By Carol Grannick on January 7, 2010

It’s winter. The negative spin? I don’t enjoy the cold, and the snow’s gorgeous, but ice isn’t nice. Blah. The positive spin? It’s a great time to hibernate, write, get things done around the house, write some more, blog, and read, read, read. Yay!

Best of all? I have a choice to think one way or the other. The positive choice energizes me to blog, write and enjoy the day inside.

That choice – and learning how to make and benefit from that choice in an ongoing way – is what The Irrepressible Writer is all about.

If you’re new to The Irrepressible Writer, and wonder how to get started on your own revved-up journey towards becoming an irrepressible writer, less susceptible to the onslaught of obstacles that can get you down, here are the posts that will give you basic information about the research and fabulous impact learning and practicing optimism and positivity will have on your resilience, energy, productivity and creativity.

Other posts since The Irrepressible Writer launch in mid-November include those dealing with rejection, revision, yelling at yourself for feeling badly, and more. Coming in 2010 will be posts exploring more of the obstacles we face as writers, as well as interviews with working writers who discuss specifics about searching for, finding and practicing resilience.

Questions about any posts or your own concerns? Email me directly and I may (with your permission, of course) use your issue as the topic of a post!

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Tips for a Positive New (Writing) Year

By Carol Grannick on January 5, 2010

THREE TIPS for your 2010 journey to  becoming and staying an irrepressible writer:

1.Find comfort with your feelings.

Feelings are transient, but significant: what you think affects how you feel.  Welcome feelings without judgment, but work to create more positive emotions by challenging irrational or prolonged negative emotions. If you don’t judge them, feelings tend to come and go.

Still, positive feelings “broaden and build” the brain, and result in greater energy, productivity, creativity and resilience. Research indicates that if you learn to create positive emotions and build at least a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions, you’ll experience an “upward spiral” of positivity that will impact your life in striking ways.

2.Dream big but plan small. Dreams are magnificent. Dreams are crucial. But within a dream, succeeding at even tiny goals and tasks remind you that you are working hard to reach your dream.

For me, a small accomplishment pays more emotional dividends than a big goal that overwhelms and therefore stays unfinished. The positive emotion derived from the tiniest success begets energy, productivity and creativity – and may well motivate you to do more.

During difficult times, emotional or otherwise, writing or other-life related, when you feel distracted or blocked about a big project, you may still be able to accomplish a tiny, writing-related goal. I rely on tiny tasks (related or unrelated to my writing) to move me from a difficult emotional place to a more positive state of mind.

If a task you set for yourself, no matter how small, begins to feel overwhelming, make the task tinier. It’s the accomplishment of something that motivates.

3.Reach Out For Help, Reach Out To Help. It’s a comfort and help to have a friend, colleague or group you can reach out to when something seems to be getting in the way of your writing. But think also about giving help. That may be even more important to our lives. When you feel needy, reaching outside yourself will tend to put your own struggle in perspective. Giving to something or someone bigger than you is one of the cornerstones of a meaningful life. You help someone; that helps you, as well.

Coming in 2010 from The Irrepressible Writer:

  • Interviews with working writers detailing their specific struggles with resilience
  • Real examples of how to handle “knockdowns” like jealousy, rejection, and the complex causes of writer’s block
  • Tips of all kinds for building and maintaining resilience on the journey to becoming and staying an irrepressible writer

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POSITIVITY: My Favorite Book of 2009

By Carol Grannick on December 30, 2009

As much as I love and devour fiction, particularly picture books, middle grade and young adult novels, the book that impacted my life and writing this year more than any other was Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s POSITIVITY (Crown, 2009).

I needed a post-it note on almost every page to keep track of all the salient points!

The most important tool in my “writer’s toolbox” is my resilience, learned almost two decades ago and still practiced daily. Without it, all my other skills  would not be as accessible to me, and I would not be able to continue to grow as a writer.

POSITIVITY is a reader-friendly influx of information that jolted me into a new level of commitment to my work with writers, and helped me to take my own writing to a deeper place.

Dr. Fredrickson’s website offers more opportunities to learn about your own “positivity ratio” and participate in studies.

The research Dr. Fredrickson discusses, as well as other research that validates the capacity of the brain to grow and change, offers not only hope but specific techniques to those writers who crave resilience but struggle with natural tendencies toward negativity.

The snow-laden prairie grass in my backyard has the capacity for resilience; in the spring it will again look much the way the grass on my blog header looks.

Just as I know this about the prairie grass, I believe so many of us have the capacity for resilience even when times get hard.  It’s there, right under the surface or deep inside, and you can feed it with knowledge and practice.

In this new year to come, I’ll continue to share information, examples and tools for  creating and maintaining resilience with the community of writers who need that resilience in order to flourish.

Wishing you a new year of meaning, productivity and peace.

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Clean Your Closet – It Might Be Good for Writer’s Block!

By Carol Grannick on December 28, 2009

In the spirit of end-of-year reminiscence and thoughtful self-assessment, I realized yesterday that my closet held beautiful, exotic clothing that I’ve collected over several decades. Clothing that is lovely to look at, but clothing I don’t wear, or am uncomfortable in when I do.

The clothes don’t belong in my closet. Not because I don’t like them, but because they don’t look good on me anymore.

The realization was painful.

My attachment to the idea that an exotic style was “me” was strong. So strong that I didn’t realize the kind of energy drain created every time I opened the closet door or wore something that was beautiful, but oddly (I thought) uncomfortable.

I bit the bullet of loss, and post-cleaning, felt energized and exhilarated!

It reminded me of aspects of my writing life.  Because I’ve cultivated and learned a positive attitude toward writer’s block as a signal rather than a disastrous event, my first question to myself is whether something in my writing environment needs changing.

Writer’s block is not always a more complex psychological issue.

We get attached to what “works” for us and may not notice when it has stopped working.

This year I’ve seen that writing in a cafe instead of in the house, changing from computer to pad and pen, trading pen for pencil, realizing that something I’m working on is strictly from my head with some “shoulds” involved, instead of a story that’s close to my heart, have all had significant and positive effect on my writing.

Still, I don’t see those changes as permanent or “always.” Last week I had no access to a car, and had an extremely productive five days on my computer in the house – something I’d figured I couldn’t do with this current work-in-progress.

I’m not talking about wild and frequent swings in what you’re doing and how you do it. But I am validating the absolute individuality of each writer’s story and writing habits.

What works for you might not work for me.

What’s more: what works for you might not work for you always.

Positive Pyschology’s Martin Seligman talks about living in sync with our deeper values and beliefs to create a meaningful life.

But sometimes the smaller things drain our energy as well, when they are not in sync with what we may need at the moment.

My beautiful, flowing purple, green and teal outfit is still gorgeous. But not on me.

Check in with yourself from time to time. Use writing trouble as an invitation to explore.

We are not only truly, and wonderfully, different from one another. We are different from the self we may have been at another time of life.

Where are you on the spectrum of  “you”? Have you made smaller, practical or behavioral changes this year that have energized and enhanced your writing life?

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