One thing I know: making deliberate changes in yourself in a profound and permanent way can feel unnatural, fraudulent or strange.
The process of change is erratic, and requires tremendous compassion and patience.
I believe deeply in the capacity for change. We know now that the human brain is capable of constant growth. And alongside it, the human spirit.
I’m invested in helping writers change negative and pessimistic thinking because it affects the totality of our writing lives, and our lives ‘outside’ writing (which, in turn, circles back to affecting our writing lives, no?)
Changing pessimistic thoughts to optimistic ones requires an ongoing commitment. Your brain has to work hard…and your emotions will follow.
You’ll try and succeed, try and fail, try again. But changing how you think is hard work, so expecting, tolerating, and even welcoming an erratic learning process will lead you where you want to go.
A reminder: teaching yourself to be more optimistic doesn’t mean you’ll never have ‘bad’ feelings, and it doesn’t mean that you’ll see everything through rose-colored glasses. You’ll have ups and downs, you’ll be able to look realistically at your weaknesses and how you want to change them, but you won’t get stuck in the kind of sadness, depression, despair that impedes your work and results in hopelessness.
Having to work hard at being an optimist is not a flaw. It’s a strength. After all, do you chastise yourself for your ability to work hard at your writing or art? Do you expect to ever get to a point where hard work is unnecessary?
Of course not. Certain aspects of our work – personal and professional – may get easier the more we do them, but I know that, for myself, I’ll always have to have my radar scanning for pessimistic tendencies. It’s just part of who I am.
Be gentle and curious with yourself during the process of change, and you’ll keep growing and changing for a lifetime!
