Comments on: You’ve Got ‘Style’…Which One Will It Be?

By: Carol Grannick

Carol Grannick — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:09:26 +0000

Hi, Paul:
Thanks for the fabulous detail – this is a great list of tools for positivity. Read the above, everyone, if you haven’t yet! Paul talks about the specifics of creating a more positive emotional state by:
1. Breathing
2. Recalling what he does and doesn’t have control over (an optimistic explanatory style)
3. Not judging his feelings, but simply allowing them to exist
4. Exercise: daily research pours in about the multifaceted benefits.

By: Paul Greci

Paul Greci — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 05:11:38 +0000

Carol, thanks for the response and the question. What I mean when I say I consciously work to try not to let “it” drag me down is that I do several things.

One is conscious breathing, i.e. a simple form of meditation where you focus on the breath and basically tell yourself that not matter what happens everything will be okay.

Also, I remind myself quite of to be aware of what I do and don’t have control over. There’s no use worrying over things that I do not have control over. I think a background in meditation has helped me to be present in my life and when I am present it is easier to see things for what they are.

I hope this explanation helps. And I just want to say that these are things that I strive for. I think of it more as a continuum that I am on. The more I live in the present with awareness the less I worry.

The other part of the work is acknowledging and accepting my feelings whatever they are. Making friends with my anger and fear–that helps to lessen the overwhelming nature of those emotions.

I’m sure there are more things that I do to remain positive. I’m a bit of an exercise junkie–all those endorphins don’t hurt. And, I try to maintain open communication with people in my life, not to let things build up with family and friends.

By: Carol Grannick

Carol Grannick — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 02:08:33 +0000

Hi, Cate:
I think it’s so great that you’ve learned that the “everything is ash” feeling is: 1) transient, and that it will pass, and 2) not “global” and about everything you touch (or write). Deep breathing really can give you the space you need to question that negative feeling so you don’t automatically sink into it and have it last way too long (and affect your writing life).

Thanks for reminding everyone that we don’t always feel like everything is blowing away, ashes in the wind, and that that particular belief is pretty common to most of us at some point in our writing and revision. Stepping back, breathing, just getting some distance from the negative thought is so important as a first step!

Thanks so much for sharing this!
Carol

By: Carol Grannick

Carol Grannick — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:51:12 +0000

Hi, Paul:
Thanks for sharing your story. I think it’s important for those of us who have to work hard at creating and maintaining a heartfelt positive attitude to know that even “pretty much…optimist” types such as you have to struggle with it, too – at least during particular difficult times.

When you talk about being more energetic and in touch with what you’re doing when you’re positive, it validates the research on positivity – that positive emotions “broaden and build” your mind.

I’d love to know what you mean – specifically – when you say “I consciously work to try not to let it drag me down”. What does that “work” consist of?

I’m looking forward to checking out your blog! Thanks again…

By: Cate Gardner

Cate Gardner — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:45:44 +0000

Hi Carol,

I am your poster child for the reflexive negative explanatory style. My husband is the poster child for the better way. I lean on him hard when I despair, which is too often.

Today the mid-grade story I’m working on turned to ash under my fingers and blew away. Metaphorically-speaking. I became completely and utterly bored with it (this is wayyyyy far into the writing of it). I have no idea why I’m writing it. It seems totally meaningless.

Deep breath. I now know this feeling will pass. I have all kinds of ways I try to talk to myself differently, to not make globalizing statements, etc. But I am still fundamentally a person with less faith than I wish I had. I don’t know how you scrabble together more faith from scratch.

Here’s to your blog helping us all figure out how!

By: Paul Greci

Paul Greci — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:03:21 +0000

Thanks for an interesting post. I’m pretty much an optimist. And teaching in a school for at risk kids for fifteen years actually helped me become more of an optimist. I knew the kids needed a “you can do it” attitude and I tried to rise to the ocasion. Now I’m writing full-time and my first book is out on submission. Remaining optimistic through the query process was difficult at times but I did it. When I’m writing I am much more energetic and in touch with what I’m doing when I’m in a positive mood. When something from outside my writing world presses in on me I consciously work to try not to let it drag me down and have had varying amounts of success with that. I’ve written a few posts on my blog about self-doubt and how to keep your energy level high. Thanks again.

By: Carol Grannick

Carol Grannick — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:17:25 +0000

Hi, Margo!
Thanks for your comment…The great thing about the amazing research that’s been going on in the field of Positive Psychology is that the journey no longer has to feel terrible for those of us who are, or have been, pessimistic-leaning writers. I’ll be posting more about what it takes to move into really feeling like an optimist – and having our writing and our writing life benefit!
Carol

By: Margo Dill

Margo Dill — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:39:27 +0000

I think it is so true that writers need to be optimists. It is a terribly hard journey, that must be terrible for pessimists. I don’t know if my mom helped make me an optimist–I imagine so–I am thankful to her then, EVERY DAY!

Great topic!
Margo