I like things simple and clear. Years ago, I went to a workshop about giving workshops. One thing in particular stayed with me. The presenter believed that a ”lesson” should never have more than three main points.
I really liked that, maybe because it’s true, and maybe because my own brain likes and remembers three things easily…No coincidence that I love and write picture books?
So I have three things for you, as a guideline for becoming a more resilient writer. Often when we want to change something in our lives, we jump right in, expect near-perfection, and then find ourselves stuck.
When that happens, we turn on ourselves and think, “I just can’t do it.” We feel like we’ve failed.
I hope you won’t do that in your attempt to become a more resilient writer. I hope you’ll take your time and be patient with yourself and the process of learning.
Each of the three steps below are crucial, and they’re yours to take at your own pace, in your own way. Ask for help at any point on your journey from where you are now to where you want to be.
1. BELIEVE: You need to believe in the possibility of change. Brain research has shown us that the brain is capable of growing and changing, that new cells are created constantly. If you’re feeling that change is not possible for you, check out the research – it may help you get beyond where you feel stuck! Believe it or not, if you’re feeling skeptical, this is a step worth spending some time on. After I recently read Barbara Fredrickson’s POSITIVITY, creating and maintaining positivity seemed almost an obligation, rather than a casual choice.
2. LEARN: Study the toolkit of the Positive Psychology movement. All the skills of natural optimists can be learned; and when you learn them, you get the same benefits that natural optimists get.
3. PRACTICE: Commit to a process of gradual change (that includes forgetting, failing and starting again) based on practice, practice and more practice, and building the capacity to respond differently to adversity.
Only three things…and the benefits? At least three more: greater energy and therefore less time lost to negativity; expanded creativity from the “broaden and build” impact of positive emotions; and greater problem-solving abilities.
As a writer, isn’t building and maintaining resilience – even if it doesn’t come naturally – in our best interests?
More from Carol Grannick
- Jealous Much? SECOND in a series to help you change jealousy into inspiration
- Jealous Much? FIRST in a series to help you change jealousy into inspiration
- Jealous Much? THIRD in a series to help you turn jealousy into inspiration
- How to Dispute Pessimistic Thinking
- Rejection Dejection: Not Ready to Rebound?
Hi Carol,
I love what you are saying about Belief being the first step. But I have a question about all those new brain cells. What about the old brain cells? The ones that hold memories of times when you weren’t resilient. Those brain cells don’t go away, right? Brain cells aren’t like skin cells, constantly shedding. Or are they? I’m going to have to read that Positivity book!
Brenda
Hi, Brenda:
Brain research is a complex and ongoing phenomenon, and I depend on reliable sources to give me my information…Barbara Fredrickson, in POSITIVITY, talks (on p.74-5, if you’re interested) about cell renewal.
She says that since scientists have “suggested that you replace about 1 percent of your cells each day”, we get a whole new “us” in three months.
My personal, nonscholarly opinion, is that we don’t understand enough yet about memory and where it “resides”…but we do know now that the human brain cell change and renew itself. In Dr. Fredrickson’s words, “Every part of you can change, and the brain is no exception.”
“You can’t teach old dogs new tricks”? Well, apparently that’s not true anymore!
Very Interesting post.
Believe, learn, practice. That is a cool mantra.
Believe in possiblity, learns the skills, practice to internalize the skills.
Great things to remember when you feel stuck and the self-doubt creeps in.
I’ll just add this tangent: When those negative emotions do creep in, don’t fight them. Greet them. Make friends with them. They don’t have to scare you. They are temporary.
When I was a teacher I used to get anxious as the first day of school approached. This happened to me every year. Somewhere along the line, thanks to reading Thich Nat Hanh, I learned to greet that anxiousness. And just say, “oh yeah, you. I know you. You’ll be here for a while but then you’ll go away.” I know that it isn’t always possible to do this. (Right now my novel is on submissions and I’m a bit anxious.) But the more I can greet those emotions, the more I will be able to do that in the future. Practice. And the more that will free me up to learn.