Hey, I’ve been getting some private email questions about “positivity” and one of the crucial tools for changing negative thinking to positive – learning to dispute negative thinking. “Do you think people should be happy all the time?” is the gist of many of the questions (which I have permission to post).
Here’s a little quiz that will make a cautionary point:
True/False Quiz
Learning and practicing the skills to create positive emotions = not having negative emotions.
Being or becoming a “learned optimist” (i.e., learning to dispute your ‘pessimistic explanatory style’) = never experiencing the pain of failure, loss, discouragement, etc.
Learning the tools and practicing the skills of creating and maintaining emotional resilience = experiencing all emotions but avoiding or limiting extended and prolonged periods of negative emotional states such as low-energy, unfocused, hopeless-feeling, depression-associated situations.
Answers
FALSE
FALSE
TRUE
That’s right. “Positivity” as a gimmick and a fad can take on a sickly-sweet, false-feeling meaning. As if we are supposed to be happy all the time. As if we never have, or never even should have, negative emotions. 
Oh, dear, no! Part of being fully human is being able to experience a wide range of emotion. I’m not sure what “positivity” as a gimmick would say, but Positivity the science?
Dr. Barbara Fredrickson (POSITIVITY, Crown Books 2009), award-winning researcher and “genius of the Positive Psychology movement” (Martin Seligman, Ph.D.) said to me in a recent interview, “Resilience is not the absence of emotion.” Emotions that feel “negative” are part of the range of emotions that make us human. It is, as Dr. Fredrickson says, “the longevity of our negative experiences that is really worth reining in and working on.”
When negative emotions plague a writer, instead of simply being transient, and the writer begins to judge and fight with those feelings, we experience a loss of energy, focus, productivity and creativity.
Reframing our responses, even when we’re feeling badly, results in opening the brain to energy, focus, productivity and creativity (specifically triggered by stronger problem-solving skills).
Positivity (the science) is part of the field of Positive Psychology, a relatively new, research-based field of psychology that moves away from the (very beneficial but limited) focus on pathology, and “studies the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive”. Positive psychology helps reasonably- and well-functioning people to flourish and thrive, to find greater meaning in their lives.
Creating and maintaining resilience is one of those things that help us flourish and thrive…as humans and as writers.
My job as The Irrepressible Writer? To remind you that negative feelings are not dangerous, and keep you human…to help you create and maintain energy, productivity and creativity in the face of the adversities of the writing life…to encourage you to allow yourself joy in the face of success….And more.
This is such important information, Carol! Thanks for blogging about it. I embrace this philosophy 100%.
Thanks for commenting, Brenda…your optimism is always an inspiration!
Another great post, Carol. I’m with you. We have to let those emotions flow through us, positive and negative, and not get stuck in a rut. I think being able to feel those negative emotions while not becoming trapped by them is pretty beneficial for writing. And if you know you can go into the negative and come back out, that can make for some interesting character exploration with our WIPs. Thanks, Carol, for such a thought provoking post.
Thanks, Paul, as always, for taking the time to respond. Since I was beginning to get questions, it occurred to me that I do need to remind readers that positivity is not “anti-negativity”. You say it well – letting the emotions flow through us without getting stuck…