Several days ago the left side of my face had a slamming, accidental encounter with a rough concrete sidewalk. It’s never happened to me before, and the blood, temporary loss of sight, gashes and ambulance were frightening.
From a moment after it happened, though, I felt incredibly lucky.
I had colleagues, friends and family who kept me safe and stayed through the scans and stitches until I was safely home again.
I had health insurance and a skilled, gentle health care team waiting in a nearby ER.
I hadn’t broken a bone, didn’t have a concussion, and a major gash was right under, but not in, my eye.
I had an extreme physical reaction to the sudden trauma (every muscle in my body tensed up) but I didn’t worry about it, and kept my sense of humor about how quickly life changes. I’d just left the school where I volunteer and where I’d had a wonderful, productive day; had just found out that Richard Peck (my hero) would be at a nearby bookstore on Sunday. In a split second, the next couple weeks of my life completely changed.
Once I was safe and sound, I had time – plenty of it – to reflect on how solid my resilient response had felt. Even in the ambulance I’d quickly unplugged the neon sign in the back of my brain that flashed, “This can’t have happened to me!” Yes, I said to myself, it happened. Now you’ll get through it, and deal with whatever you have to.
I was really proud of myself.
Not because I worked hard at being positive about what happened.
But because it came naturally.
My responses just felt…like me.
What I’m saying is this: if you want to become more resilient, you’ll have to work hard at it. You have to teach your brain to think differently in order to become more resilient, more “irrepressible”.
But it does take hold. Even if you hit periods of difficulty during which have to work harder than usual at creating positive emotions.
I believe in change. Real, permanent change. Lucky me…
Carol, your response to such an unfortunate and intense accident is amazing. A great reminder that we do have the power inside us to get through tough situations. And yes, real change takes work.
And, I have to say, I saw Richard Peck speak at a Conference a few years ago. He was amazing. I still have a quote of his in my head: “A story is not what happened. It is what might have happened.”
I hope you heal quickly!!
Thanks, Paul…
What a great attitude, and one I’m going to have to remember the next time life gives me lemons and I’m convinced I’m out of sugar.
This gave me a good laugh, Allan – and with my stitched-up lips, that’s saying a lot!
On one occasion, I was able to respond with a resilience I was proud of, in spite of it being an exceptionally emotionally trying time. In other instances lesser bad things have happened in rapid succession, and I was able to step out of my misery enough to laugh at the ridiculousness of the coincidences, and even predict the next bad thing that was bound to happen. Usually, though, I’m not that enlightened.
I hope you’re feeling better!
Thanks, Lisa – I think of every experience of resilience (small, big, in-between) as “money in the bank” (a not-so-great analogy, these days, now that I think of it…But you get the idea). That experience is always there – and every experience you have adds to your collection. The more you work at it, the more experiences you “gather”. Our brains really can learn these new behaviors so that eventually, as I described in my own experience, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Good luck! I’ll look forward to hearing about your journey!