When writers share their struggles with staying resilient and persevering on the writing journey, it helps us all. This is the first of The Irrepressible Writer interviews with writers published, unpublished, known and unknown.
Here, a Houston-based critique group, Will Write For Cake generously shares their thoughts, feelings, struggles and tools for maintaining resilience. First, meet WWFC’s members (and check the linked sites for their book credits): Laura Edge, Doris Fisher, Lynne Kelly Hoenig, Miriam King, Christina Mandelski, Monica Vavra, and Tammy Waldrop are committed, hard-working and talented children’s writers. They meet every other week and their group has become a devoted, intense, challenging and supportive environment for all of them.
As you read, note the wide variety of concerns and solutions they share, as well as some similarities. WWFC’s experiences confirm that in our individuality, we discover and use solutions for creating and maintaining resilience specific to our own needs. Even more, specific to our own needs at a particular moment in time.
THE IRREPRESSIBLE WRITER: WHAT ISSUES GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR WRITING MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE?
Chris:…The simple fact that writing is hard…When creating stories, I can look at something a million times and still see ways to change it. It can get frustrating, and sometimes it’s just easier to say, “Naw, I’m not gonna do that to myself today!”
Miriam: I need mental space: time to dream, think, conceptualize…time for my thoughts to fritter and wander. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always provide that…
Lynne: Sometimes I think it’s that I have too many good books! I’m also easily distracted…Also,[when I write I begin] wondering if what I’ve written is any good…being unsure of what the character needs to do next, where the story’s going does make me sit and stare at the computer screen at times. Finally, like most of us, I have to be away [from writing] for paying jobs.
Tammy: I have a full-time job, huge garden, husband and teenage son. Plus I direct a music group and teach a Bible class…
Monica:More than anything else, I struggle with self-doubt…You name it, I worry about it…It can be a terrible downward spiral…
Laura: Discouragement…After pouring my heart into a story and having it rejected, it’s often difficult to keep working on it or any other writing project. Self-doubt sucks the life out of my enthusiasm and passion for writing…
Doris:Life often changes my plans [for writing]…What stops me from writing are thoughts of what I should be doing instead…There’s no end…But a writer must rise above the mundane and dive into writing bliss when the mood strikes.
TIW: SPECIFICALLY, HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THOSE OBSTACLES?
Chris:I have to put the proverbial gun to my back and force myself to sit down and write, to overcome my fear of the “hard”. Once I get going…writing is exhilarating…
Miriam: I try to…have that quiet creative time before the day begins to crowd in and beg for my attention.
Lynne:If I’m feeling stuck, I’ll do some free writing with paper and pen…It helps me get away from my editing-as-I-go tendencies…[And] I type some quick notes at the end of a document so I’ll keep writing, but remember ideas later…I also keep little notebooks…and [use the]button on the internet that turns off the computer.
Tammy:The only way I can get to my writing…is to put it on the schedule.
[TIW: I am really “big” on this technique. Putting anything on your schedule is an intentional activity, and nudges you gently to consider that time as sacred.]
Monica: Self-doubt is tough. It’s a constant nag, and I’ve never found a magic bullet to alleviate it.[CG:…and there isn’t one!]…Chocolate helps. So do long walks with my dog. I’d NEVER get through it without the love and support of friends…[But I try] to ignore it and keep writing…The joy of writing trumps whatever negativity I’m feeling.
Laura: I talk over specific issues with my critique group. I take a break from writing and do something I love – read, watch a movie, go to the ballet or theatre – anything connected with stories. I plan my next trip. I set my writing aside and volunteer and work with children to take my focus off myself and [put it on] others.
Doris: I’m a firm believer in lists…a writing “to do” list that includes writing projects, promotion, website, author visits, even deleted email and saving documents. The house “to do” list includes [everything else!] and the weekly trips to Gold’s Gym! [For me] lists lead to organization, and organization leads to accomplishment.
TIW: IF YOU HAD ONE PLACE TO REACH OUT TO FOR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Chris:Will Write For Cake, absolutely!The “Reply All” button figures prominently in our frequent emails, because you never know [which person] may have input that might encourage or help. When I was going through the process of signing with my agent…and the sale of my book…no one else really “got it.” I owe [my critique partners] big time.
Miriam: [My] wonderful writer’s group. We exchange group emails several times a week. It helps to know what other writers’ experiences are.
Lynne: Critique group, for sure. Other friends can be supportive, but they don’t “get it.”
Tammy: My writing group. They understand the craft of writing, the struggles and joys that go along with it.
Monica: I reach out to all of [the members of my critique group].
Laura: My critique group. Friends provide love and support, but they don’t understand the gut-wrencdhing agony that goes into writing.
Doris. Definitely my writing group. No question about it. We care deeply about each other, not just as writers.
TIW: WHAT SPECIFIC ACTIONS OR THOUGHTS HELP YOU PERSEVERE AND STAY RESILIENT?
Chris: Four things: we’re invested in writing and in getting published. We’ve got talent. We’re honest, very straightforward with our critique. And, lastly, cake!
We’ve become good friends, and there’s no defensiveness, no guile, no jealousy, no selfish, I’m-better-than-you attitudes. When you find yourself in a group like this, you celebrate it as often as possible!
Miriam: The group helps define the commitment I’ve made to myself. The feedback gives me confidence [whether it’s affirming or constructively critical] in my present ability and my potential for improvement.
Lynne:Because [all my group members] are great writers and great people, I trust their feedback. Seeing [others’] successes is inspiring. The love of writing keeps us going.
Tammy: We all bring something different to the table that strengthens the others.
Monica: First, I like my friends to empathize…[When I find] my resilience lagging…it helped that my [critique group friends] acknowledge how awful and soul-sucking revision can be. We griped and moaned together. And then they cheered me on. Specific tips [really help].
Laura: Connecting with your group on a regular basis, hearing other works in progress…stimulates creativity.
Doris:Hope. Without hope, submissions and rejections would beat us down. Group provides…suggestions and ideas, but we [also] life each other up when bad news occurs and fight for each other when needed.
What connects me to group? The insistence that I can do…
Wow. Thanks, WWFC!
Take a look at the specific skills reflected in this critique group: from “forcing myself to sit in the chair and write”, to mind-focusing distraction, to schedules and lists, to the absolutely essential support of one another, WWFC keeps themselves focused and hard-working with mutual investment, talent and honesty.
And I can hear them telling me now: “And don’t forget the cake!”
Thanks for a window into this critique group. It sounds like a really creative and supportive place to be. Very inspiring!! The whole is more than the sum of its parts!
Definitely, Paul – there’s nothing like a high-functioning group to help keep each individual in it, strong!
Thanks for posting this interview, Carol. Reading about this group of writing women raised my flagging in-the-middle-of-my-millionth-revision spirits. Just hearing Monica describe revision as soul-sucking made me feel less alone, and gave me some much needed energy. So thanks, Carol and the WWFC, you’ve inspired me to get back in the ring and go another round. Which is what critique partners are all about. And, just for the record, Carol, I’m glad you’re one of mine.
Yes, Monica’s description really zeroed in on how it can feel when we do revision after revision…after revision.
Great interview, Carol. It helps me to realize I am not alone in the struggles I have with my fiction writing. They sound like such a fun group too, though I’m not surprised. I met Chris in person at Prairie Writer’s Day (I’d already “met” her on Facebook) and she is just full of energy and good writing karma.
Thanks, Michelle. WWFC members were so generous, and even courageous, I’d say, in sharing their thoughts and feelings. I think it helps all of us to hear the details of what being, or staying, resilient, really means!@
I’m so glad that we were be a part of your blog, Carol and help, even if just a little, inspire some of our fellow writers! It gets tough, but it is so uplifting to be surrounded by people who are there to support you and you them.
Your blog as a whole is so great, Carol, a real gem!!
Chris Mandelski
Will Write for Cake
Hey, Chris – I’m so glad you all shared so openly…I really appreciate fellow writers doing that. It “normalizes” the whole struggle, which makes it a tiny bit easier for each of us. Hugs to you and your writing partners from me!