One day we feel fine, and then we don’t.
In part, that’s because we’re always changing, and our feelings come and go.
One of the ways to pull yourself back into a positive space is to reach out for help.
Recently, I began to sense my inner Medusa waking, but she wasn’t threatening writers’ block. No, it was definitely social media block. Not that I’m the most active writer on the social media block. I’m definitely not. But for me, beginning to blog on a regular basis, and entering the Twitter and Facebook world, was a big step out.
It was exciting and I was proud of myself for reaching out into the cyberworld. But I’m basically an introvert, and although I love to connect with people, I’m not a big-party person, nor a person who needs or wants constant socialization. I like small groups, individual contacts, and I need plenty of time by myself, as well.
So the hours I was spending with blogs, Twitter and Facebook began to drain me. I wanted to leave it all behind and concentrate on my work-in-progress. 
I’d pull away for a few days, then re-enter. At the same time, I happened upon entries in two of my favorite blogs: Shrinking Violet Promotions and Writers Inner Journey. And then my daily email from Greg Pincus’ The Happy Accident dealt with another angle of the same issue – where and how do you spend your time, and why?
Even though I felt supported and validated by these posts, I decided to reach out to Greg for a check-in consultation. I’d gotten started on social media after a webinar with Greg and Mark Blevis.
I knew I’d get a common sense, empathic, and practical response from Greg about my predicament – wanting to stay involved and build connections for myself as a writer and writer’s therapist, but not wanting the social media to become a chore, instead of a pleasure. And not wanting to compromise my writing time and space.
If I knew that, you might ask, why did I need the consultation?
Because I did. Because it helps. Because it’s comforting. Because Greg knows way more than I do about the business of social media, but he also respects that I know more about myself than anyone else does. And because I knew I’d end the hour of phone consultation with a solution for my problem.
With Greg’s respect for who I am and what I want to do, we talked through a social media plan that is a better fit for where I’m at right now, what my goals are right now, how I’m feeling right now. He reminded me that “presence” is not necessarily quantity, and that I am still “there” even when I am not as constantly active.
So, once again, very specific steps and skills created a positive emotional state. For my writing and for my life, that’s crucial:
1. Always the first step, and I think most important: a compassionate or at least neutral assessment of what you’re going through. When you’re annoyed with yourself for whatever you happen to be experiencing, or wish you weren’t feeling it or going through it, you’re stuck.
You’d be surprised how far compassion for yourself goes in eliminating emotional angst.
2. Trust what you need and want and talk to someone who respects that trust.
3. Make a plan that is a “good match” for exactly what you need right now, knowing that the plan may or may not change in the future.
How about for your writing life? Are there writers or writing-related professionals on whom you depend for rational feedback that creates positive emotion for you?
I can totally relate about the social media thing. I find myself feeling overwhelmed not only by the pressure to post to my own blog, but also to read other people’s posts and to keep up with my email. Sometimes it creates so much anxiety that I have to back away and ignore it all.
Hi, Lisa – thanks as always for responding. I know the feeling you describe, and think I’m much more comfortable with my new balance of how I spend my time…for now, of course!
Carol, I can really relate to your post. I stayed out of the Social Media world until I signed with my agent and my book went on submission. Prior to that, I wanted all my energy to go into my writing. So these past months I’ve been on a pretty steep learning curve. I love all the connections with other writers such as yourself, via my blog and twitter. It has really enriched my writing life.
I have read a bit about social media and have settled into producing one polished blog post per week that deals with Alaska and/or writing.
As far as writing-related professionals that I turn to, I have really learned alot by reading other writers’ blogs and although I know I have a mountain of learning to do with regards to Social Media and internet presence the one thing I keep coming back to is “slow and steady” is the way to go, and what I do may not be right for what someone else does and visa/versa.
I read somewhere that your book is going to be your big business card. I think about that when choosing how much time to spend online and how much time to spend in my writer’s cave.
Thanks for such a thoughtful post.
As always, Paul, your response is so much in sync with my thoughts and feelings, and I particularly love the idea that “your book is going to be your big business card.” I love the work I do, and the writing I do, as The Irrepressible Writer, but I would feel incomplete without sacred time to work at my children’s fiction. After my consultation with Greg, I immediately found a better balance, and am so much more comfortable.
Thanks for taking the time to respond.