Interview: Learned Resilience Unbound – Meet Children’s Author Kathi Baron!

I invite you to enjoy this wonderful, immensely instructive interview with children’s author Kathi Baron, whose first novel, SHATTERED (Westside Books, 2009) has the concept of resilience at its core.

In addition, though, Kathi’s responses to my questions are superb examples of the creative brain’s response to negative and positive thinking and emotion. You’ll see one after the other example of the decision to learn and think in heartfelt positive ways, and its direct result – opening the brain to the capacities and strengths that fuel good writing.

Kathi is a graduate of the Vermont College MFA Program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. In addition to writing, she works part-time as an occupational therapist. In the past, she has worked with teens in crisis and has publications in a variety of occupational therapy journals and books. Currently, she lives with her husband, son and their cat in Oak Park, Illinois. SHATTERED is her debut novel.

Of special note:

Kathi will be signing copies of SHATTERED at Borders in Oak Park (1144 Lake St.) on Saturday, June 5th, at 2 PM.

She’ll be presenting at the  Southeast Wisconsin Festival of Books on June 18-19 at the University of  Wisconsin-Waukesha.

THE IRREPRESSIBLE WRITER: What are the specific difficulties you have struggled (continue to struggle) with as part of your writing journey? Be as specific as possible, please.

Over the years, I’ve struggled with a number of things. One is self-doubt. The negative thoughts that seep into my brain: what if this is a stupid thing to write about? or what if this is a dumb direction to take the novel?

Another difficulty is when life gets in the way, like when my in-laws each went through heart surgery or when my son was treated with chemotherapy for a rare kidney disease. Even though I was there helping, and in my son’s situation, managing his care, I still had pockets of time to write. But I was distracted, worried and scared and it’s challenging to be creative when you’re feeling like that.

Lastly, the very nature of the publishing business is an ongoing test of my patience. We writers send stuff out and might not hear back for a year. Once an editor actually responded to my submission 15 months from the time I sent her my manuscript. Also, when the replies finally come, there’s a lot more of “No” than there is “Yes, I’d love to publish you!”

All of these struggles have forced me into a process of survival—of learning to keep my spirits up. When any or all of these challenges take me into my negativity, it’s dangerous because I stop feeling inspired and in this state, nothing interesting shows up on the page. Or worse, it effects my motivation to work, leaving me with a blank page.

TIW: How have you handled these difficulties? What helps? What doesn’t help?

In terms of self doubt, it really helped to complete the Vermont College MFA Program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. There I learned that ideas are worth exploring. So maybe the novel would be better in present tense than past like it’s currently written in. Instead of getting stuck in self-doubt, I’ve learned to try a chapter in present tense and to trust myself when I finally make a judgment call regarding which direction to pursue.

Also, I’ve learned the value of trusting other writers to give me feedback. I might be feeling unsure about a character, but when I give it to my critique group and they have favorable things to say about that person, it gives me a boost to continue developing the character. Or if they’re not on board with the character, I trust them and either give up on the character or use their helpful suggestions to do a better job of conveying that character.

When I’m experiencing tough life situations, I’m gentle with myself and just try to encourage myself to get some stuff down on the page. I tell myself anything at all will do. Usually something comes and I’m able to go with it. Stories are compelling. In this way, writing a story has a sort of healing property because I usually feel this pull to go forward to find something out, or to see the character through something.

In terms of the publishing business, I’ve had to come up with some strategies for coping with it, because I do want to be a part of it. One is I try to have a number of submissions out there, like entering short story contests, submitting stories or non-fiction essays to literary journals, and submitting my novels. Each is an opportunity to hope, as well as a way to knock on different doors.

Also, I don’t send anything out unless I have alternative places to send it. So when it comes back as a rejection, I don’t have to think about where to submit next. I give myself 24 hours to feel sad, disappointed, upset and then I make myself send it right back out there. In this way, I honor how I feel about the rejection, but prevent myself from getting into a negative state.

Finally, I keep a gratitude journal, meaning at the end of each day, I try to write down 5 positive things in that day. In this way, I keep my mind in good spirits, which supports my creativity.

What doesn’t help is letting myself sit with the disappointment for too long of a time, because it moves into negativity. That’s why I have the 24-hour rule for myself. After 24 hours, I have to let it go. Interestingly, I usually get bored after about 21 hours with feeling blue. I’m ready to move on. So I capitalize on that by sending out the manuscript to another place.

TIW: What is the single most important part of your life (this could be a phrase, a person, a group) that helps you reinforce your resilience as a writer?

Most important to me is my little family: my husband, son and cat. I tell them right away when a rejection letter has arrived. My husband usually hugs me. My son tells me he’s sorry. I sit with them and hold my cat. I talk about what I was hoping for and what is lost. Usually this is for just a few minutes. Not being alone and also, feeling loved balances out the sadness. I know that an opportunity is lost but I still have them. It puts it all into perspective.

TIW: How do you see (or not see) your own beliefs about and/or experience with resilience figuring into your characters or stories? Do you want to highlight aspects of resilience deliberately? or do you find that resilience is simply part of how our characters have to evolve in order to create strong stories?

While writing one of the drafts of my young adult novel, Shattered, my son was going through chemo. I remember feeling so stressed out about his illness while trying to write Cassie (the main character) beyond her dad breaking her violin. At one point, I paused and thought we both need to develop some resilience!

I wasn’t sure how to develop it in myself or to give her some. So I consulted the American Psychological Association’s website. They have a listing of “10 Ways to Build Resilience.” One strategy is to look to the future and think about how things might improve. For Cassie, I focused the plot on how to get her a new violin. It was a way to help her to be an actor in her own story, to “take decisive actions”, which is another strategy on the list.

For myself, I began imagining my son playing baseball again, going to school every day, being with his friends. These visualizations of him as a healthy person eased some of my anxiety. And by working to give my novel a new shape, I kept dreaming of getting published.

Cassie eventually got another violin. My son is healthy, doing normal stuff: taking baseball lessons, going to movies with friends, planning for college next fall. I got lucky and heard a publisher say “yes” to Shattered.

My small study of resilience offered a lot of options for plotting, and eventually, for transforming Cassie. It helped me to hang in there to finish yet another draft of Shattered. It is what supports me to take the risk of beginning a new novel.

TIW: Thanks, Kathi – for sharing so openly, and for the power and intensity of your work!

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