When you find yourself in the middle of a downward spiral of negativity and you don’t know how you got there, the best – albeit a little goofy-sounding – solution is to begin with an apology to the person you’ve hurt. Yourself.

If an heartfelt apology to another heals and redirects a relationship, the heartfelt apology to yourself will acknowledge the seriousness of the hurt you’ve caused with negative thoughts or actions, and make it possible for you to change direction from down to up.

Bernstein says in her article that the heartfelt apology sounds like this: “I am so sorry. I understand that I hurt you. It won’t happen again.”

A comprehensive, serious self-apology can signify a turn, a desire for a change of behavior. Then, by practicing certain skills, you can make a permanent impact on your resilience. And your life.